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June 8, 2019 / Culture, Hoessentials

Hoessentials June 2019

Aaaaaaand, we’re back.

Welcome back to Half & Bad after my lil hiatus. It was necessary to focus solely on some life things for a bit, but now that all my ducks are in a row we’re moving onward and upward!!

Onto June’s Hoessentials– the things that I absolutely cannot live without this month.

Peach & Lily Matcha Pudding Antioxidant Cream

Now, y’all know I’m all about my skincare and regularly feature skincare products, but listen…

Talk about a holy grail skincare product, omg. This moisturizer is IT.

I originally picked this moisturizer up because I was looking for something that had niacinamide, a buzzing ingredient that’s said to help with acne and have anti-inflammatory properties. So, you know I had to try something with niacinamide in it immediately.

The Peach & Lily Matcha Pudding Antioxidant Cream was the only thing I could find in Ulta with niacinamide, but it was literally God’s Plan that I took this home with me. Matcha is also my all-time favorite flavor, so it was truly meant to be.

I get that having both “pudding” and “cream” in the same name is a lil redundant, but the effects are NOT. I can always tell when I don’t remember to moisturize with this product, because when I DO my skin is noticeably softer looking (and feeling obvi) and my skin tone is more even.

This product is “spiked with matcha, cape lilac extract, niacinamide and adenosine” and “skin is blasted with antioxidants and brightening and firming ingredients.”

Disclaimer: Peach & Lily are a certifiable Korean skincare brand and while they do seem to be cruelty-free, I can’t find anything supporting that they’re vegan ☹️

Amie & Fanna’s StripTrip

If you ever wanted to take a look behind the scenes and at the women that make up American urban strip clubs, WATCH THIS DOCUMENTARY!!!

Amie & Fanna did such a good job of examining the highs and lows of this lifestyle, at honestly portraying the women they encountered, and doing so all through a feminist lense.

Link: https://www.svtplay.se/video/22228350/amie-och-fannas-striptrip-english-version

Milk Hydro Grip Primer

Y’all… this primer is STRIPPER and HOUSTON, TX SUMMER approved!!!!!!

This makeup primer is a June Hoessential and has fucking CANNABIS, blue agave, aloe water, cherry, blossom, HYALURONIC ACID, and B vitamins all while being vegan and cruelty-free!!!

You can definitely feel the honey when applying and it feels little jelly/sticky when going on, but this primer is sooooo good. Like SO GOOD.

Meg Thee Stallion

Let thee Hot Girl Summer commence.

Stream Fever and drive the boat.

LuMee Duo

I bought this dual sided light up phone case so that I could take selfies in the club 🤷🏽‍♀️.

It works and it’s super cool!

I have the Duo and it has LED lights on the front and on the back and with the push of a button you can dim either light or switch back and forth!

Definitely a June Hoessential cause now all my pictures from the club, the car, basically anytime night time scenario all look BOMB.

Summer is HERE, don’t get left behind.

Make sure your skin is glowing and your confidence is on level 101.

April 26, 2019 / College, Empowered Women

How to Survive Finals Week

It’s that time of year again… finals weekis among us. Most of us are somewhere between freaking the fuck out and just #stressed.

Finals is a time of cramming, late nights, lots of caffeine, and even more urgency.

Have no fear: I’m sharing with you my guide to surviving finals week.

As a graduating senior, this guide has gotten me through many finals and clear on my way to semester breaks.

This is how I personally don’t go absolutely nuts during finals week.

Take some time for self-care.

In between study sessions and office hours, try to find some time to take care of yourself!

Face masks

My go-to self-care treat is a face mask! There’s something therapeutic and just utterly relaxing about slathering on a good skincare product and letting it work its magic on my face.

You can get back to studying while wearing the mask or use the 15 minutes to just chill tf out.

You can find face masks at your local store for as little as $2 or go on ahead and treat yourself with a pricier option!

Get a massage

If you can spare a single hour, I promise getting a massage will be SO worth it. Sitting at a desk, hunched over a computer bogged down with stress and looming exams can do a real number on your body both physically and mentally. A good massage will alleviate allllll of that. The physical benefits alone will improve your ability to study more effectively!

Look on Groupon or call different massage parlors in your area to score a deal!

Exercise

Get that blood flowing!

Keeping up with your workouts during finals week will give you a sense of stability and will also help clear your head and provide your body with a break from sitting down.

I prefer to go for a run outside during finals week because I really think the fresh air makes a HUGE difference when it comes to my mental clarity.

Do whatever makes YOU and your body happy! Yoga, weightlifting, a quick walk with the pup will all have the same effect of getting you moving and giving your mind a break from the books.

Happy Hour

Happy Hours still stand during finals week, in case you weren’t aware…

Going out for a quick drink and some bar apps won’t hurt anybody. Just exercise self-control and make sure it’s only one drink and doesn’t turn into an all-night rager.

Stay invigorated!

You can’t pour from an empty cup!!

Stay hydrated

Drink water! Have a cup of tea! Make sure your body and brain are working properly!

Your organs need water and your brain is an organ. To ward off mental fog, burnout, headaches, etc. water is your best friend.

Feed yourself

Nutrition is just as important as staying hydrated, especially when you’re working long and hard!

Maybe swap out the comfort junk food with a nutritious meal or smoothie. Your body will love you for it and you will feel much more energized!

My go-to “fast” food is a microwavable Amy’s meal and when I have more time to cook at home, I love to bake salmon and sweet potato fries!

Take a few minutes to reconnect with yourself

Just a few minutes of no screen time, or stretching, or hopping in the shower makes all the difference for me when it comes to studying for long periods of time.

I promise, a 5-10 minute break will not make or break your exam grade.

Have a plan of attack.

MAJOR KEY ALERT

Have a study plan

Having a study plan is my most important suggestion.

Know exactly what you need to study, what you need to know, when you need to know it by, and when you’re going to study it.

Staying organized and having a study schedule will make things seem more manageable, you’ll be less likely to miss something important, and it provides a light at the end of the tunnel to work towards!!

The Pomodoro technique

I LOVE and swear by the Pomodoro technique, especially when personally tailored for your needs!

The Pomodoro technique is basically setting a timer for 25 minutes (or whatever time you choose), working diligently for those 25 minutes, and then taking 5-10 minute breaks after each 25 minute period!

I get so much more done using this technique and I effectively avoid burnout!

After each study period, I usually spend my breaks scrolling social media, watching Netflix, reading for fun, etc.

Study smarter, not harder, my friends!

What are your finals week survival hacks?

April 3, 2019 / Hoe Tips, Sex Work

Pole Dancing for Strippers: A 30 Shift Challenge

Announcement time 🗣🗣🗣

Y’all have been asking for it, so I’m delivering! After months of planning, pitching, and practicing I can finally announce:

Pole Dancing for Strippers: A 30 Shift Challenge

This is a pole dancing challenge for strippers.

I get SO many questions from dancers about how to increase their stage presence, make more money on stage, what should we even be doing on stage, etc.

So, I figured why not collaborate with X-POLE, other dancers, and myself to bring the H&B community a series that gives y’all both visuals and detailed instructions on pole dancing in a FUN and CHALLENGING way that is sure to make you more money… for FREE!!

This challenge would not be possible without the generosity and support of X-POLE. X-POLE are the leaders in aerial and pole fitness. They most likely provide the poles in your club and pole fitness studios! The amazing thing about X-POLE is that they specialize in bringing professional poles to your home (that you can take up and down as you please)!!

I just received my XPERT PRO and am super impressed with the stability and the quality of the pole. It’s the pole you’ll see in the picture and video tutorials I’ll share throughout the challenge!

In this challenge, you’re going to learn pole dancing skills that will push your body and your earnings to new levels.

The difference between this challenge and other pole dancing challenges and/or classes is that the skills I’ll be highlighting have been selected for strippers and our unique needs (making $$$).

It’s all about optimizing your stage presence and adding skills that will incite customers to make it rain on you!! We’ll do this together, over a period of ten posts and 30 shifts.

Each of the ten posts will have three “challenges” for a stripper to attempt on both their in-home pole and on stage. Each post will include pictures, videos, and real-life testimonials from exotic dancers who utilize these tips and tricks in their own stage shows!

Materials Needed

So, you will need one thing for this challenge: a pole.

This can be your own pole, a pole in a pole fitness studio, or the pole in your club! With your own pole, you can practice whenever and wherever you please. If at a pole fitness studio, inquire about “open pole” sessions so that you can practice freely. If the only pole you have access to is the one at your club, that’s not a problem, as I often used to go into work early or when I knew the club would be dead just to practice on stage!

A word about pole fitness studios: this is my least favorite option for practicing pole dancing as a stripper. When taking classes, you have no control over the style, type, and level of pole tricks they teach. It’s also most likely that your instructor isn’t or wasn’t a stripper. So just be careful about spending your hard earned money at a place that doesn’t respect strippers or their founding and contributions to the pole dancing community. Do your homework first!

What Should I Expect? Is this challenge even for me??

This challenge is for you if you want to:

✔️ Make more money on stage

✔️ Feel more comfortable on stage

✔️ Have been wanting to go to a pole studio, but aren’t sure if they’re the right fit for your stripping needs

✔️ Challenge yourself

As I mentioned, this challenge will be rolled out over a series of 10 posts. Each post will be posted weekly and will include 3 “challenges.” Each challenge will be a skill to try out on stage during your shift.

There’s 3 phases of the challenge:

Grounded: Floor work & transitions
Getting your feet off the ground: Beginner tricks
A$$ in the air: Intermediate tricks that require climbing the pole

Bonus content: If you sign-up for the challenge (there will be a sign-up form at the end of this post) you’ll receive additional posts on how to tie all the tricks together into a routine that you can use on stage right in your inbox!!

All skills will be visually demonstrated and detailed, written instructions will be provided!

Bet. When does the challenge start and how do I sign-up?

The challenge will go live the in June! (Delayed due to… life).

Pole Dancing For Strippers will be posted on a weekly basis right here on Half & Bad!

If you sign-up in advance, you’ll receive the challenges a day before everyone else AND bonus content which will include routines, extra tips, and other helpful ~things~!

Sign-up HERE ⬇️

In the meantime, check out my other posts about stripping!

March 13, 2019 / Hoe Tips, Sex Work

How to Talk to Customers: 51 Conversation Starters + Tips for Strippers

Welcome to How to Talk to Customers… FOR STRIPPERS (obvi).

This post is gonna go over how to talk to strip club customers in a way that leads to more money in your pocket.

I’ll be writing this post using my own knowledge, tips and tricks from other strippers, and also using some non-specific conversation tips from other industries that I think need to be used by dancers in our industry!

I’ve said time and time again that the most successful strippers aren’t just the most ~attractive~ strippers in the club- it’s the ones who not only rely on their looks, but also on their hustle.

Being able to hold a conversation goes a looooooooong way ($$$) in the club.

Conversation Starters + The Initial Approach

That’s the topic of this post.

This post is basically a list of what to first say to initiate a conversation with a potential customer and tips and tricks to make the conversation easier to keep going.

This post is broken up into a few parts that are based on some environmental factors:

General tips

Body language

The first words that should come out of your mouth

Day shift specific conversation starters

Night shift specific conversation starters

After hours specific conversation starters

Approaching groups

Conversation no-nos

Disclaimer: any of these tips can be used in any situation if you play it right!!

So, let’s get to it so you can make this moneyyyyyy!

Related post: Preparing to be a Stripper + Everything You Need to Know

General Tidbits

Conversation skills are necessary

2. Quiet =/= disinterested. A quiet customer DOES NOT always mean they aren’t interested in you! Some guys are shy, new to the whole thing, broody/hard to get, etc.

3. Never start with “do you want a dance?”

4. Don’t talk dirty if it’s not YOU

5. The key is to get them talking about themselves

6. Stick with open ended questions.Aka not questions that require a strictly yes/no answer. Your questions should lead to more information which leads to new directions to take the conversation!

7. Don’t completely hide your intelligence. The “bimbo stripper” act is so 1990s.

8. Keep track of your lies

9. Don’t spend too much time with one customer without any form of compensation

10. Being on autopilot is your worst enemy

11. Smile for god’s sake

12. Try to remember who you’re talking to. It’s never good if you’re talking to someone you’ve already talked to before and they realize you don’t remember them.

13. Don’t fear rejection

Body Language

Your body talks.

14. Do your best to keep your body in full view, regardless of where you’re sitting in relation to the customer

15. Too early physical contact can lead to unclear boundaries about what is acceptable without payment.

16. If you approach a customer at a table:

Stay in full view
Lean in to them

17. If you approach a customer in a section/on a couch:

Sit on your knees or cross your legs
- Keep it sexy and playful!

Lean against the railing
- This is my personal fave cause it can actually be kind of intimate to be leaning against the railing/borders of a section with a customer.

Sit next to the customer on the top of the couches
- You’ll look like you belong

18. If you approach a customer at the bar:

Lean against the bar, but you keep your body language open to the customer

Those First Words…

The first couple things you say to a customer are v important. If you approach a customer with respect things will tend to go in your favor!

Hoe tip: always, always, always greet the customer and introduce yourself!! Even if it’s not the first thing you say to someone, it should be somewhere in the beginning of the conversation.

19. “Hi, I’m…”

20. “Hi, how are you?”

21. “Hi, you look like you need some company”

22. “You look lonely/bored”

23. “Whatcha drinking?”

24. “Where are you from”

25. Compliment something about the customer

26. “Do you mind if I sit with you?”

Day Shift

In my experience, conversational skills are most used during the day shift. Customers generally aren’t in a party hard type of mood and are more interested in you.

27. “Are you here on your lunch break?

28. “Are you sneaking away from the office/playing hooky?”

29. If they’re eating the buffet (🤢) ask: “How’s the food?”

30. “What do you do for fun?”

31. “Have you been here before?”

32. “What do you do?”

33. Talk about what’s on the TV

My overall day shift vibe: witty, friendly

Night Shift

34. “What’s the occasion?”

35. “What brings you here?” aka a nice way to ask why the fuck are you here.

36. “Have you been here before?” (A true classic)

37. “How was your day?”

38. “Ready to unwind?”

39. Compliment the girl on stage

My night shift vibes: flirty/dirty, good time with personal attention

After Hours

40. “Where were you before finding your way here?” Most people end up at the booty club once the local bars and clubs close

41. “What’s the occasion?”

42. “How’s your night going so far?”

My after-hour vibes: party girl, let’s keep it going to the AM

If you need more tips on working at an after hours/urban strip club, I got you.

Approaching Groups

43. “Heyyyyy guys!” (A classic)

44. Acknowledge everyone first, before focusing on a specific person in the group. People are sensitive and might fuck with your money if they feel that you were rude/left them out

45. Latch on to one person in the group (after you greet everybody)

46. “Who’s the guest of honor?”

47. “You guys look like you are up to no good!”

Sticky Subjects

As a general rule, avoid these subjects:

48. Religion

49. Politics (unless he brings it up first)

50. Family

51. Your shift details (such as how much money you’ve already made, how shitty it is, when you usually work, etc.)

February 19, 2019 / Culture, Hoessentials

Hoessentials February 2019

This month’s hoessentials are the things that I find myself picking up over and over again. Everything on this list is something that I have been using almost daily for the entire month of February!

Tea Tree Oil

Ever since I switched from birth control pill to an IUD (which I LOVE), my hormonal acne has been ruining my life (not really, but sometimes it can feel like that).

So, around the start of the new year I decided I needed to really get serious about skincare and ever since I’ve been trying out new products and sticking to my skincare routine.

My newest holy grail item is Tea Tree Oil.

All the social media dermatologists (lol) that I follow recommend using tea tree oil for acne, so when I finally found a 100% organic and affordable option, I immediately bought it.

And thank god I did!!

I’ve been using it for about three weeks now and I’ve seen a major improvement in the hormonal acne along my jaw and chin area. In three weeks, it went from a decent amount of acne in that area to now only one or two bumps and discoloration from the acne scars (which I will tackle later, I’m just glad the actual acne is leaving)!

I first used it as a spot treatment after using a witch-hazel toner, but now I just add a few drops to my toner. I just add three to four drops to my toner-soaked cotton pad and apply all over my face.

Fair warning: It does sting/tingle for about a minute afterwards and my face does get a little red. I don’t mind it though because it works for me.

Disclaimer: I’m not a dermatologist. This is just my personal opinion and experience with tea tree oil.

Get Your Shit Together by Sarah Knight

I treat Sarah Knight books like they’re my bibles.

I’ve previously talked about how You Do You, another Sarah Knight book, changed my life, so of course when she dropped a new edition to her “A No Fucks Given Guide” collection, I immediately bought it and the accompanying journal!

Get Your Shit Together is all about “how to stop worrying about what you should do so you can finish what you need to do and start doing what you want to do.”

At this time in my v busy life this book has been both a friend and a saving grace to me. It’s helping me to strategize, focus, and commit to my goals in a way that isn’t like talking to the advisor at career services on campus (who are USELESS).

Sarah guides you through the “small shit, the tough shit, and the DEEP shit” so that you can take control of your life and get your shit together (whatever that looks like to you).

100/10 I will always recommend Sarah Knight to anyone who’s looking to ~personally develop~.

LOVE Condoms

LOVE condoms are distributed by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation and they believe in this ~radical~ notion that condoms “must be readily available and affordable for everyone who needs them.”

This is a literalhoessential.

I’ve told y’all about how my vagina is super sensitive and how I’ve had trouble finding a condom that doesn’t fuck up my pH balance and that doesn’t result in a yeast infection…

Well, I’ve finally found one. I would personally like to thank Jesus, Sarah Knight, and the women’s clinic where I got my IUD.

I actually came across the LOVE condoms when I finally opened the “goody bag” I got from the women’s clinic after getting my IUD inserted. It’s been like four months, but I finally opened it and saw it was a pamphlet and a bunch of these red condoms. So, I was like, ok cool, it’s only been four months so let me try these cute lil condoms out.

I knew pretty much immediately that they were my new go to brand of condoms. Fuck any drugstore brand, these are it.

They don’t break ✔️

They don’t feel like sandpaper ✔️

They don’t fuck up my sensitive vagina ✔️

They have an amazing mission ✔️

What more can a person ask for??

Grocery Store Iced Coffee

This month, I made the executive decision to stop spending $6 a day at Starbucks.

I am absolutely gutted about it, but for the sake of my bank account, I knew I needed to reevaluate the relationship between my debit card and the coffeehouse.

What I was NOT about to do is go without my morning (and sometimes midday) iced coffee. So, I went to my local grocery store, went to their fridge aisle, and bought the best-looking iced coffee they had.

Every morning, I now pour my OWN cup of iced coffee and head out the door.

At first, I hated it (#petty), but now it is once again the highlight of my day (sad or nah??).

The grocery store carton of iced coffee is $4. I have to re-up once a week, meaning I now spend around $16 on iced coffee a month, compared to the $132 I used to spend going to Starbucks five times a week.

Look at your own coffee receipts and do with this information what you will 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Motivational Meme of the Month

Just remember- no one can out do you.

Runner Up: Re-useable Straws

This month has a runner-up hoessential because I can’t mention my daily iced coffee without mentioning my re-usable straw!!

It’s a stainless-steel straw that I use instead of getting a plastic or paper straw that just has to be thrown away or recycled later on.

I’m all about saving the planet and you should be too! It’s literally one of the smallest and EASIEST things you can do to be a lil more environmentally friendly!

Plus, I swear to god that my drinks taste better coming out of this straw. Don’t ask me how, they just do.

February 13, 2019 / Hoe Tips, Sex Work

What’s in My Bag: Stripper Edition

Two things I always have to ask myself before leaving for work:

Where the fuck is my work bag??
Do I have everything I need

I literally triple check my bag as I’m heading out the door and I’m constantly paranoid that I’m going to forget something that I’ll end up desperately needing halfway through a shift (this may or may not have something to do with my work-related anxiety).

When I first started out, I had a checklist on my phone of all the things I NEEDED to have in my dance bag for a successful shift. Nowadays, I have it mostly memorized, but I still wanted to share that list with you guys!

Stay tuned till the end for your free checklist of all the things a stripper needs in her work bag!

For all things stripping check out these posts!

First things first, you need a designated work bag.

Your work bag is your work bag. I suggest not using that bag for anything else but work. If it’s designated just for all things stripping, then you won’t have to worry about taking things in and out and possibly forgetting an important item. Plus, you won’t have to worry about packing a million things into your bag when you’re late for a shift, because almost everything should be in there anyways!

The goal is to grab and go.

When choosing a bag, look for something that’s durable and large.

Your bag is most likely going to take a beating in the locker room and you need it to be big enough to hold all your things and all your money!!

My bag looks like this and was a free bag from Sally’s for spending a certain amount of money (don’t judge). I love it because it’s that nylon/canvas material on the inside (so I don’t have to worry about spills) and the outside (so no tears/rips/holes). The zipper and tassel that was once on it are gone because like I said… your bag is gonna get fucked up in the locker room.

Popular options that I see often in the locker room are sport duffle bags and other large totes like mine.

What’s in my bag?

Heels

Don’t evertake your heels out of your bag (unless you’re wearing them of course).

It hasn’t happened to me, but I would literally die if I walked into the locker room after paying the house fee and realizing that I forgot my heels.

I actually keep my heels in the little bag that they came with because then I know that I always have both and because… glitter lol.

Two to three outfits

Accidents and SWEAT happen. Moods change. Vibes change. Some outfits work better on some days then others.

That’s why I always suggest having more than one outfit with you at all times!

Spray deodorant

I like spray deodorant because then I can spray it on the inside of my thighs and back and on parts of my body as needed! I’m a sweater so it’s v important to keep deodorant in my bag at all times.

I also feel like spray deodorant does a better job of being pretty much invisible and keeping me dry.

Facial spray

I keep both Mario Badescu facial spray and Urban Decay Chill setting spray in my bag, always.

Like I said, I’m a sweater and with that plus wearing a full face of makeup I feel better after a good, refreshing spritz to the face.

Makeup bag

Depending on whether you’re the type to get ready in the locker room or the at home, how much makeup you bring is up to you.

I’m the type to get ready at home, so I just bring a smaller makeup bag that has the beauty items I need to touch up my makeup just in case I need to mid-shift.

This is my lil makeup bag and the three (deodorant, facial, and setting) sprays I always keep on me.

Baby wipes

Almost self-explantory.

I keep baby wipes (all natural bc I’m sensitive) to use after I use the restroom (even strippers poop at work) and after a particularly nasty or sweat-inducing customer.

Hand sanitizer

Self-explanatory.

Strip clubs are nasty.

Money bag

For all dat $$$.

Unpopular practice, but I actually don’t take my money bag with me onto the floor. I’m SO paranoid that I’m going to put it down and forget it somewhere, so I always run my tips back to my money bag in the locker room and keep it locked up in my locker.

Which brings me to the next item.

Combination lock

ALWAYS LOCK YOUR LOCKER.

Don’t be naïve, keep your money and belongings LOCKED and AWAY.

I would recommend a combination lock for two reasons:

You don’t have to keep track of a key
I’ve been to some clubs where my key lock doesn’t fit in the lockers. Combination locks almost always fit (I haven’t been anywhere where they haven’t).

Gum/mints

Stanky breath will most likely turn off a customer. Same goes for alcohol breath. After a customer buys me a drink and I’m done with them (lol$$$), I always go back to the locker room to freshen up a little and that includes freshening up my breath!

Ibuprofen

Stripping is hard on the body. So are menstrual cramps!

Be prepared!

Plus, it’s always nice to share with other dancers and can help you make friends.

Hair brush

Dancing and customers who like to play with your hair can sometimes leave your hair fucked up. No need to worry cause you have a brush in your bag!

Hair spray

Depending on your hair type and needs, keep either hair spray or a detangling/moisturizing spray in your bag!

This has saved me soooo many times.

Tampons

Obviously.

Snacks

Stay energized, ladies! Plus, being hangry with overwhelmingly sensitive, male customers is not conducive to making money.

A good luck charm

Have a good luck charm or something that brings you joy every time you see it!

Good vibes only!

I have compiled all of this into a free, downloadable checklist for you guys!!

Happy stripping,

For more stripping-related content click here.