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February 13, 2019 / Hoe Tips, Sex Work

What’s in My Bag: Stripper Edition

Two things I always have to ask myself before leaving for work:

Where the fuck is my work bag??
Do I have everything I need

I literally triple check my bag as I’m heading out the door and I’m constantly paranoid that I’m going to forget something that I’ll end up desperately needing halfway through a shift (this may or may not have something to do with my work-related anxiety).

When I first started out, I had a checklist on my phone of all the things I NEEDED to have in my dance bag for a successful shift. Nowadays, I have it mostly memorized, but I still wanted to share that list with you guys!

Stay tuned till the end for your free checklist of all the things a stripper needs in her work bag!

For all things stripping check out these posts!

First things first, you need a designated work bag.

Your work bag is your work bag. I suggest not using that bag for anything else but work. If it’s designated just for all things stripping, then you won’t have to worry about taking things in and out and possibly forgetting an important item. Plus, you won’t have to worry about packing a million things into your bag when you’re late for a shift, because almost everything should be in there anyways!

The goal is to grab and go.

When choosing a bag, look for something that’s durable and large.

Your bag is most likely going to take a beating in the locker room and you need it to be big enough to hold all your things and all your money!!

My bag looks like this and was a free bag from Sally’s for spending a certain amount of money (don’t judge). I love it because it’s that nylon/canvas material on the inside (so I don’t have to worry about spills) and the outside (so no tears/rips/holes). The zipper and tassel that was once on it are gone because like I said… your bag is gonna get fucked up in the locker room.

Popular options that I see often in the locker room are sport duffle bags and other large totes like mine.

What’s in my bag?

Heels

Don’t evertake your heels out of your bag (unless you’re wearing them of course).

It hasn’t happened to me, but I would literally die if I walked into the locker room after paying the house fee and realizing that I forgot my heels.

I actually keep my heels in the little bag that they came with because then I know that I always have both and because… glitter lol.

Two to three outfits

Accidents and SWEAT happen. Moods change. Vibes change. Some outfits work better on some days then others.

That’s why I always suggest having more than one outfit with you at all times!

Spray deodorant

I like spray deodorant because then I can spray it on the inside of my thighs and back and on parts of my body as needed! I’m a sweater so it’s v important to keep deodorant in my bag at all times.

I also feel like spray deodorant does a better job of being pretty much invisible and keeping me dry.

Facial spray

I keep both Mario Badescu facial spray and Urban Decay Chill setting spray in my bag, always.

Like I said, I’m a sweater and with that plus wearing a full face of makeup I feel better after a good, refreshing spritz to the face.

Makeup bag

Depending on whether you’re the type to get ready in the locker room or the at home, how much makeup you bring is up to you.

I’m the type to get ready at home, so I just bring a smaller makeup bag that has the beauty items I need to touch up my makeup just in case I need to mid-shift.

This is my lil makeup bag and the three (deodorant, facial, and setting) sprays I always keep on me.

Baby wipes

Almost self-explantory.

I keep baby wipes (all natural bc I’m sensitive) to use after I use the restroom (even strippers poop at work) and after a particularly nasty or sweat-inducing customer.

Hand sanitizer

Self-explanatory.

Strip clubs are nasty.

Money bag

For all dat $$$.

Unpopular practice, but I actually don’t take my money bag with me onto the floor. I’m SO paranoid that I’m going to put it down and forget it somewhere, so I always run my tips back to my money bag in the locker room and keep it locked up in my locker.

Which brings me to the next item.

Combination lock

ALWAYS LOCK YOUR LOCKER.

Don’t be naïve, keep your money and belongings LOCKED and AWAY.

I would recommend a combination lock for two reasons:

You don’t have to keep track of a key
I’ve been to some clubs where my key lock doesn’t fit in the lockers. Combination locks almost always fit (I haven’t been anywhere where they haven’t).

Gum/mints

Stanky breath will most likely turn off a customer. Same goes for alcohol breath. After a customer buys me a drink and I’m done with them (lol$$$), I always go back to the locker room to freshen up a little and that includes freshening up my breath!

Ibuprofen

Stripping is hard on the body. So are menstrual cramps!

Be prepared!

Plus, it’s always nice to share with other dancers and can help you make friends.

Hair brush

Dancing and customers who like to play with your hair can sometimes leave your hair fucked up. No need to worry cause you have a brush in your bag!

Hair spray

Depending on your hair type and needs, keep either hair spray or a detangling/moisturizing spray in your bag!

This has saved me soooo many times.

Tampons

Obviously.

Snacks

Stay energized, ladies! Plus, being hangry with overwhelmingly sensitive, male customers is not conducive to making money.

A good luck charm

Have a good luck charm or something that brings you joy every time you see it!

Good vibes only!

I have compiled all of this into a free, downloadable checklist for you guys!!

Happy stripping,

For more stripping-related content click here.

January 25, 2019 / Health + Wellness, Hoe Tips, Sex + Sexuality, Uncategorized

Hoe Tips: How to Keep Your Vagina Healthy + Happy

Hello to all the wonderful people who have vaginas.

If you have a vagina then you know first-hand that having a vagina is hard fucking work and that there’s no manual that comes with.

Fortunately for us, we do have science + the internet.

Vaginas are moody and kinda unpredicatable. They can be angry with us, hurt, irritate, etc., BUT if you know how to take care of your vagina then your vagina can also be your best friend who’s the source of personal power and pleasure.

I, for one, have gone through SO much trial and error, that I wanted to share the tips that have come from my gynecologist, other people with vaginas, and my own personal experience so that others don’t have to go through as much bullshit as I have dealing with my bitch vagina. I still love her tho.

Disclaimer: My vagina uses she/her pronouns. I in no way think vaginas are exclusively she/her entities. I will do my best to only refer to my own vagina using gendered language, so if you see anywhere in this post where I have slipped up, pls let me know.

I have a pretty finnicky vagina. She gets fucked up EASILY. The slightest change in my pH balance and boom. Yeast infection. She gets sore easily from penetration, doesn’t like condoms, and doesn’t particularly approve of tampons either. These healthy vag tips are what work for me and my sensitive vagina so they might seem a little ~obscure~ or seem like they won’t really make a difference, but trust me and my easily upset vagina, they DO.

So, without any more rambling from me, here are my favorite, tried and true (for me) hoe tips for keeping a healthy vagina.

Clean Laundry

For the love of all things vagina, whatever article of clothing that is closest to your vagina needs to be CLEAN and FRESH. CLEAN as in they haven’t been worn before.

Change your undies after you work out or anytime you break a sweat down there.

Going commando? Make sure you pants/skirt/whatever are freshly washed.

Change out your towels OFTEN. Don’t use the same wet washcloth or loofah twice!!

Bacteria and other irritants THRIVE in your dirty laundry, especially when they’re moist. So, think about it, putting anything that isn’t fresh and clean next to a mucous membrane and an open hole that leads straight to your insides is pretty gross to think about. So, don’t do it.

Also, the type of detergents you use to wash your laundry is important too!! If your vagina is on the sensitive side or if you just prefer #cleanliving then definitely look into organic and/or unscented laundry detergent. The less chemicals in your detergent, the better it is for your body.

I personally use and suggest Tide Free and Gentle detergent. My vagina likes it and my clothes still get clean!

The thing about bacteria and chemicals is that they have the potential to royally fuck up the natural pH balance of your vagina. When your pH balance gets fucked up is when you start to get symptoms like irritation, pain, etc. and they often lead to infections (think yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, etc.).

Organic Menstrual Products and/or Free Bleeding

What you put into and close to your vagina matters.

I would definitely look at the ingredients of the menstrual products that you’re using. Check out this Chem Fatale report on the potential health effects of the toxic chemicals in certain menstrual products and compare the ingredients of the brands you use.

Organic menstrual products are available pretty much every where and by using them you pretty much avoid the risk of upsetting your hormones and pH balance due to the lack of chemicals in the products!

If you’re interested in organic menstrual products check out these pads and tampons. The cool thing about this particular brand is that with every month’s supply sold, they will supply a month’s supply of menstrual products to girls in India, Kenya, and the U.S.!!

Another option is free bleeding. Free bleeding is just what it sounds like, while on your period you don’t use any menstrual products and just bleed freely. A lot of people who free bleed use menstrual panties that basically work as underwear with a built in pad.

If you think free bleeding is gross… grow up. Free bleeding is a realistic and sanitary option for all people with vaginas! Do ya research, people!!

I personally use a combo method of organic menstrual products while at school or work and then free bleed when I’m at home!

AVOID THINGS THAT WILL MESS WITH THE BALANCE OF YOUR VAGINA

Foods

Stop putting food up your vagina. You’re not sixteen trying to impress your bf with ~freaky~ you are anymore. Love yourself and say NO to the impending yeast infection that comes with putting whipped cream into your pussy.

Sugar is a food source for bacteria AND yeast and can lead to infection (obvi).

Food can also irritate the mucous membranes inside your vagina and chemical vulvovaginitis is an actual thing.

Also, oily things not only degrade latex (condoms!!), but also trap bacteria!!

Moral of the story: STOP PUTTING FOOD UP YOUR VAGINA 🗣

Flavored condoms

Flavored condoms = chemicals. Chemicals = irritation and infection.

Enough said.

Certain lubricants

My vagina is sensitive, so certain types of lube will give me a yeast infection like immediately lol.

A natural, water based lube is best for sensitive vaginas.

The ONLY lube that works for me is the Jo Original Water Based Lubricant.

Scented products

Just like with flavors: scents and fragrances = chemicals.

Feminine sprays and washes

As with some menstrual products, the chemicals in some feminine sprays and washes are just not good for you!

Besides that, your vagina is SELF-CLEANING.

Unless recommended by a trusted gynecologist, your vagina doesn’t need a damn thing to help clean itself or to make is “smell better.”

Stop with the bullshit.

Safe Sex

Obviously safe sex is v important to keeping a happy and healthy vagina.

Take precautions with your partner.

Get tested regularly.

Be mindful about the products you use during sex and how you use them.

Post Sex Cleanup

Take care of yourself and your vagina after any type of intercourse.

I personally use baby wipes after every sesh (check the ingredients on those too!!). I have to use all-natural wipes because, again, sensitive vag over here.

For detailed hoe tips on post sex cleanup check out this other post of mine!

Troubleshooting

Disclaimer: I am NOT a doctor. These are just some things I do and that have been suggested by other people with vaginas. Seek legit medical care for any worrisome and/or persistant problems.

Is your vagina NOT happy with you?

No worries, I’m including some of my go-to troubleshooting tips.

Air it out.

Go commando, spread them legs for a lil bit, etc. Vaginas LOVE oxygen.

Give it a good rinse.

Shower/bathe and get nice and clean. I don’t mean douche, I literally just mean rinse your vulva and pat dry with clean (see above to figure out what I mean by CLEAN) towel.

Itchiness/burning/pain?

I know they tell us to go straight to the gynecologist, but I personally go straight to the drugstore to pick up some Monistat or whatever my symptoms require.

If it persists or gets worse, then I go to the gynecologist.

But if you’ve got it like that,then head straight to the gynecologist whenever things start feeling funky!

If you feel these things and have had unprotected sex with a partner that you are not 100% sure of their STD/STI status, then head straight to the gynecologist or Planned Parenthood.

When in doubt: go to the doctor or a health clinic.

This is quite clearly NOT an exhaustive list and should not be a substitute for medical advice from a health professional.

Regardless, I hope your vagina continues to be healthy and happy, maybe even more so with the help of this list!

January 22, 2019 / Culture, Hoessentials

Hoessentials January 2019

New year, new me, baby!!

Leading up to 2019 I basically did an audit on all my beauty and wellness products. My goal was to go into 2019 with a skincare routine, makeup products that work for me, and a sound mind (SIKE).

So, here are my hoessentials for January 2019!

MAC Cosmetics Eye Brows Styler

This eye brow pencil is the BEST eye brow product that I have ever used.

I have struggled and struggled to find a good eye brow product that I could figure out how to use. I have tried the Anastasia Beverly Hills pencils and pomades and I found that I just could not make my brows look flawless with those products. Of course, my lack of skill when it comes to all things makeup was the main cause, BUT I HAVE FOUND MY HOLY GRAIL EYE BROW PENCIL.

Even with my lack of skill my brows be coming out #onfleek.

With the MAC Eye Brows Styler, the application is SO easy and since I’m light handed when it comes to my brows and my skin is a tad oily in that area, the product comes out dark enough and heavy enough to my liking without me having to try very hard (which was my main problem with the ABH pencils).

Like I said, this is one of my holy grail makeup products and I probably won’t switch from the MAC Eye Brows Styler anytime soon.

Derma E Rose Cleansing Oil

Something I’ve always struggled with is acne. Since switching from hormonal birth control pills to a non-hormonal IUD (you can read more about my switch here), my skins has taken a BEATING.

To combat this I’ve double downed on my skincare routine and have added a few new, higher-end products to the lineup.

It’s only been a couple weeks, but the product that I’ve noticed to have the biggest impact on my skin is the Derma E Rose Cleansing Oil.

It’s the first cleanse in my skincare routine and it feels sooooo good being massaged into my skin. It’s an oil that you massage all over your face and wipe off with a hot, damp towel before using your regular foam cleanser.

I’ve definitely seen an improvement in the clearness and pigmentation of my skin since I started using this product!!

Becoming by Michelle Obama

Becoming is Michelle Obama’s autobiography and it is an incredibly compelling and amazing read.

Becoming is a must-read for any woman looking for insight when it comes to navigating your personal and professional world.

I’m not done with it yet, but I’m really enjoying starting out 2019 with a great book that I find both relatable and inspiring!

Stretching/Yoga

This is one of my habits from my post on healthy habits and I think so many of us could benefit from a good stretch in the morning!

I’ve been using quick stretching/yoga routines that I find on youtube and pinterest and I’ve been feeling so good afterwards!

I’ve seen an improvement in my flexibility (obvi) and in my bloodflow and mindset going into the day!

You can spend anywhere from one to twenty minutes stretching in the morning and it’ll make a huge difference in your day and in how well you feel!

What hoessentials are you bringing with you into 2019?

January 11, 2019 / College, Empowered Women, Uncategorized

7 Things to Do Before Your Final Semester of College

As usual, winter break FLEW by and it’s at the point where most of us college students are preparing to go back to school for the spring semester.

For those of us who are graduating in May, this will be our LAST semester of undergrad… this is both incredibly exciting and incredibly scary.

Now, I obviously haven’t done this before (this as in getting ready to start my final semester of college), but I’m lucky enough to have had a super incredible senior advisor who has been there for me every step of the way in order to prepare me for graduation.

I’ve had a few super shitty advisors along the way and I can’t imagine going through my senior year without the helpful tips of my current advisor, so I just wanted to share what has been shared with me for those of you out there who weren’t as lucky!!

1. Rest

Don’t fall into the trap of feeling like you need to be super productive over break.

This upcoming semester is about to be the most frantic semester ever, so make sure you are mentally AND physically ready for it!!

Over break we all need to catch up on some sleep. We also need to prepare ourselves for the beatdown that I know is coming…

Take hella naps, get a massage, eat well, take baths, do the things that you love to do and that relax you, etc.

We will thank ourselves for it in a couple weeks.

2. Finalize Your Schedule + Prepare

Double check that you got into all the classes that you need to graduate.

Know what your weeks are going to look like. I like to have my calendar and planner ready to go by the first day of classes.

Check Blackboard (or whatever system your college uses) and be aware of anything your professor wants you to have prepared by the first day of school (hopefully nothing).

If you have a job or an internship, do the same thing!

The number one thing that leads to that dreaded feeling of being overwhelmed is being blindsided by allllll the things you have to do. Be prepared and know what’s on your schedule ahead of time!

If you need some ideas on how to do this check out this post on how I stay organized.

3. Double Check Your Finances

I’ve heard tooooooo many stories of someone almost not graduating because they had an unpaid campus parking ticket or because their financial aid didn’t come through for their final semester.

DON’T LET THAT BE YOU!!

Check in with financial services to make sure you’ve taken care of or are in the process of taking care of any outstanding balances on your account.

4. Know How + When to Apply for Graduation

Most schools require you to formally apply for graduation.

Make sure you know how to do this, when the deadline to apply is, and what all you need to do be approved to graduate.

Your university’s website or any advisor at your school should know this information!

I REFUSE for any of us to be blindsided this semester. So make sure you know what’s going on and what you need to do!! Please!!

5. Start Thinking About + Working Towards Post-Graduation Plans

By no means do we need to have this all figured out at this point… but lowkey we all need to figure this shit out like SOON.

Graduation is going to sneak up on us, I can promise you that.

Start talking with any mentor’s that you have and doing research on what your next step is going to be.

If that’s graduate school, then figure out what degree you’re going to pursue, where you wanna go, how to apply, how you’re gonna pay for it, etc.

If you’re ready to start your career, then figure out how to do that. Do some preliminary job searches to see what employers are looking for, find some career paths or employers that you could see yourself working for, go to career fairs and networking events, perfect your resume, create a LinkedIn, clean up your social media, do mock interviews, allllll dat and more.

This is by far the most nerve-racking part for me… by far.

6. Meet With Your Advisor

Try to make an appointment with your advisor within the first couple weeks of school.

Go over pretty much all the things on this list and anything else you can think of!!

Your advisor is there to HELP you and if they’re lackluster don’t feel bad about requesting a new one.

I know when I meet with my advisor in a couple weeks that I’m going to literally record her saying that I have done everything I need to do in order to graduate in May.

7. Make a Bucket List

This last one is all about ENJOYING your final semester of undergrad!!

Make a bucket list of all things you haven’t done or things you want to do one last time before you graduate!

It’s all gonna be over before we know it, so go to the corny tailgate, spend one last night in the library, eat at all your favorite on campus food spots, chill in a hammock on the quad one last time. People swear we’re gonna miss it.

I hope all of us going into our final semester of college do so prepared and full of positivity!

Congrats to us all!!

January 9, 2019 / Health + Wellness, Hoe Tips, Uncategorized

How to Have Chill Vibes and Find Inner Peace

Being “chill” is literally a part of my identity.

I tend to gravitate somewhere between being “passive” and being “chill” on any given day.

I also spend a lot of time wishing other people in my life would chill the fuck out. I love people for who they are, but damn, I KNOW being on level 100 at all times must get tiring.

Now, I’m not advocating for being passive, but I do think there’s something to being cool, calm, and collected.

Having chill vibes isn’t just a thing you do, it’s an outlook, a blueprint for the way you live your life. Not everyone chooses this path and that’s A-okay!

If you’re looking to find inner peace, challenge your usual forms of expression, and just overall have ~chill vibes~ then keep reading.

Be at peace with yourself

Before peace comes forgiveness

Acknowledge that you’ve tried your hardest and that sometimes you haven’t. THAT’S LIFE!! You deserve your forgiveness.

Shed the baggage

Let that hurt go, sis.

Whatever causes you to pop off, that thing deep inside that rears its ugly head in seemingly unrelated situations, address it and then move on. I can’t tell you how to do that, but the first step is making a commitment to yourself. You deserve the relief.

Fear, anger, guilt, bitterness, all weigh on your soul and contribute to the negative energy you feel within yourself.

Care about yourself

Self-care is key. Do things for you that are good for you.

Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self-care are essential to being healthy and to finding peace.

Stay hydrated, take breaks, practice self-compassion, meditate, just do what you need to do to make sure that YOU know that YOU care about YOU.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Comparison is a thief of joy.
Teddy Roosevelt

We live in the age of digital comparison. Take a break from scrolling through the lives of others and looking at all the things you don’t have.

A lot of us don’t even know we’re doing it, but comparing ourselves to others is so bad. All it does is create self-doubt and jealousy, most of all it usually makes us feel like SHIT.

Focus on yourself, your happiness and your goals.

Be at peace with what’s yours and what’s coming.

Embrace yourself and alone time

Enjoy your own company. If you can’t stand being alone and spending time with yourself, then fix that.

You don’t need social validation to feel like your worth something.

Schedule some alone time every day, it will do wonders for the soul, I promise.

Learn how to express yourself

Learn how to identify your feelings and what triggers them

This my friends, is called emotional intelligence.

I don’t have it, so let me know when y’all figure this one out.

JK!!! Kinda. It’s something I’m working on. Fair warning: it’s hard.

Identifying your feelings takes time and introspection.

Introspection = examining your own conscious thoughts and feelings

Throughout the day, gauge your emotions and try to label them. Create your own labels for them if you want!

The key is to start doing this before you have a strong emotional response to something. This thing takes practice, okay.

In high stress situations, take a second to reflect on what it is exactly you are feeling, and what has triggered, or caused, these emotions.

Hopefully, once you identify your feelings and what triggers them, you can start working on how you respond to things.

Take time to express and decompress

Almost like a mama’s titty full of milk. I heard you have to express milk daily or else your titty might explode. Idk.

The point is, try to find an avenue of expression that you can turn into a joy and a habit so that you don’t get to the point of feeling overwhelmed.

Try things like journaling, creating, exercising, meditating, etc.

Expressing your emotions will also help with identifying them, fyi!!

Live your truth

Be honest with yourself and be honest with others.

The truth lies in both your intentions and your actions.

Chill vibes

Be open minded

Leave the petty judgements behind. Live and let live. All dat.

Be open minded to people, experiences, and things.

Ignore and remove the drama

Self-explanatory, really. I know drama is unavoidable sometimes, but do your best to let the unnecessary and excessive drama go right on by you.

Drama can ruin your mood, relationships, career, etc. It’s never worth it.

Be your own bestie

A. Less people, less drama, less things you have to worry about, and the more chill you can be.

Focus on what’s right in front of you

Live in the moment, yada yada yada.

Someone who is constantly worrying about the past or the future is definitely not chill.

Be present and be mindful.

Maintain your priorities

Focusing on what’s right in front of you does NOT mean forgetting about your responsibilities and/or rearranging your priorities at the drop of a hat.

Know what is important to YOU.

Having your shit together means you don’t have to worry bout NUTHIN.

Don’t worry about things that aren’t for you

This ties in to the lil tip about how we all need to stop comparing ourselves to others.

Trust that if you don’t have something right now, that you’re not meant to have it RIGHT NOW.

What’s yours will come. Especially if you go and get it.

Trust the process. Have faith that you’re on the right track.

And if you’re not on the right track, get on it. Tf you waiting for?

Come to terms with what you CAN control and what you CAN’T

Stop wasting your precious time and energy worrying about things or focusing on things that you do not have the power to change.

Focus on the things that you DO have control over.

Don’t get too attached

Don’t get attached to plans, material things, and people you can’t rely on (that last part is key).

People who get upset when dinner plans change? No chill.

Your favorite boy band member cut his hair and you’re HURT? No chill.

Leaving hate comments under Tristan Thompson’s IG posts? Justified, but still, no chill.

You get what I’m saying here?

Now, OBVIOUSLY, these things are waaaaaaaay easier said than done and it’d be pretty damn hard to constantly live like this. BUT, we should all have certain behaviors and mindsets that we strive to live up, right?

December 18, 2018 / Hoe Tips, Sex Work

Safety Tips for Strippers

December 17 is the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers.

One concern I hear often about stripping and other sex work is the reality of how dangerous it can be.

It’s, true. It is dangerous… But it shouldn’t be.

While it’s important to advocate for and demand safety as a sex worker, the reality is that we have to be hyper vigilant and we have to take our safety into our own hands.

Here are a few tips to stay safe as a stripper.

Click here for more content on sex work and stripping.

Coming & Going

Arm yourself

Arriving at the club and leaving the club are arguably the riskiest part of any shift.

I am always armed.

Club security is supposed to make sure that no one comes in with any type of weapon, but I refuse to leave myself vulnerable.

I keep a very inconspicuous looking knife in my dance bag. I also keep mace attached to my car keys.

When I first get to work I walk through the parking lot with my keys (mace) out, but once I get close to the door I put my keys into a zipped compartment of my dance bag.

The security at every club I’ve ever worked just look at the general contents of my bag and have never unzipped any of my makeup bags or side pockets.

When I leave with I am always escorted by a security guard, but I don’t trust them LIKE THAT so I just get my keys out and hide my mace in my hand. Additionally, it wouldn’t hurt to keep your knife in your pocket when leaving either if you are feeling worried.

Even if it’s just your keys or something heavy you can use to hit something, just have SOMETHING that you are prepared to use to defend yourself.

Trust your gut ALWAYS. Your body and your money are YOURS.

Obviously, educate yourself on your city/state’s rules on personal weapons and make sure you are extremely discreet about what you do carry.

I would only use either of my weapons in the most dire of circumstances.

Be aware of your surroundings at all times

Peep the cars in the parking lot when you arrive and when you leave.

This past summer I had a creep follow me home from the parking lot of my club. I had to call the police and everything.

If this ever happens to you call the 9-1-1 as soon as you even suspect that someone is following you. Also, DO NOT drive home or anywhere near it. When it happened to me I turned into the neighborhood next to mine and just continued to drive until the police arrived.

When entering and leaving the club, don’t be on your phone or looking down. You need to see and hear EVERYTHING. Keep your phone in your hand, if able, because most phones now-a-days come with built-in emergency buttons and if your phone doesn’t have any built-in security features there are many, many apps available to download for free.

Make a point to notice people.

Just keep a neutral, but confident expression on your face.

Noticing, but not challenging, people can sometimes deter predators from approaching you because it lets them know that you have seen them and can possibly identify them later on.

If your club makes you park in the back of the parking lot:

Walk as much in the light as you can. Use your cellphone as a light.

When parking, back your car in so that if in a rush you can just pull out of your spot and not have to worry about reversing or other cars.

And like I said before, just have some type of defense ready.

At the end of the night

Keep your money securely put away in your bag and out of sight before you even leave the dressing room.

Have security walk you to your car or at the very least stay in their line of sight at all times.

Have your weapon ready.

Don’t unlock every door of your car, just the driver’s side. You don’t want someone hopping in the back or passenger’s side. It doesn’t hurt to check the back seat before getting in either.

Lock your doors immediately upon getting in your car.

People often say to walk in pairs, but I don’t trust other dancers or staff like that so idk. That’s just not something I do.

Staying Safe While Working

Personal information

Get a “burner” phone number.

Apps like Google Voice will give you a “fake” phone number that when texted or called will just redirect to the app on your actual phone. I give my Google Voice number out all the time (although I rarely reply tbh). Sometimes it’s hard to say no when someone is harassing your for your number so having a memorizing a fake, but working number is v. helpful.

NEVER. EVER. EVER. give out your real name!! Use a fake real name just to get people off your back. Have it prepared and use the same one every time.

Use fake information that is close to the truth when telling customers “about yourself.”

If you’re in school, give a nearby school’s name instead of your actual school’s name. Say you live in the area over from where you actually live. Etc., etc.

Lies that are ~close~ to the truth are easier to remember.

If you lie about going home with a customer or meeting them outside the club or about texting back, do so at your own risk and only when you think you can get away with it.

I used to do it all the time (bc I’m scared of conflict and saying no, duh), but it definitely isn’t the smartest thing to do and can get you in some shit.

Private rooms

If you’re going to lie about what you’re willing to do in VIP/private rooms… be careful.

I’ve personally never done that before and I never even allude to anything that I’m not willing to do or could lead to me catching a case. I’m too paranoid for that shit.

Don’t work at a club or do private rooms at a club that you feel like wouldn’t have your back in a situation where a customer gets too aggressive or who doesn’t actually check on their dancers who are in private rooms. It’s just NOT worth it.

When in a private room you still have the right to protect yourself. If you are ever in a situation where you fear for you safety GET OUT. If you can’t get out, then defend yourself.

The heel of your shoe is a weapon.

Bottles and glasses are potential weapons.

Scream at the top of your lungs if you have to.

Dealing with aggressive customers

The two worst types of customers are broke ones and aggressive ones.

If an aggressive customer isn’t respecting your boundaries, as in you have to keep swatting their hand away, they try to penetrate you, are rough, etc., then try telling them that the club will fire you and kick him out if they continue.

This line usually works for me because the customer, for some reason, respects the club more than they respect me and by basically saying that my hands are tied in the situation it can often diffuse things.

Also, telling an aggressive customer (who you’re done trying to get m oney out of) that your man will fuck them the fuck up doesn’t hurt either. I’m not totally sure about the legality of “threatening” someone like that, BUT we are in a strip club here so it’s high key anarchy anyways.

I do not, never had, and never will have a pimp or anything remotely similar, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to flex like I don’t have a nigga waiting in the shadows with the strap. *100 emoji*

Reach out to other dancers and club/staff management if someone is starting to get out of hand with you. Even if you’re totally done with the customer and haven’t asked for him to be kicked out, it’s still nice to warn your coworkers about them.

And feel free to ask the club to kick them out. Sometimes they won’t, but a lot of times they will.

Honestly, though, when it comes to an aggressive customer it’s generally just NOT worth it.

Dealing with staff/management/dancers

Stop working their immediately if you feel unsafe due to your coworkers.

Don’t trust anyone and always watch your own back. We will never be able to truly know people and their intentions, which is why I just stick to myself.

You do not deserve to be taken advantage of in ANY WAY.

Social Media

I know that social media is integral to a lot of our brands, but just be careful about the information you do post.

A good rule to go by is to only drop your location if you WANT people to find you i.e. you’re already at work.

Limit the amount of #moneypics you post. Jealousy and desperation can make people do some sinister things.

Look over your pics to make sure that your location is not revealed in any way.

I recommend separating your stripper social media accounts with your personal ones. It can sometimes be a pain, but your safety is worth it!

On this International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers let’s remember those we have lost to and have been impacted by violence and focus on our committment to empowerment and agency for all sex workers.