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Being “chill” is literally a part of my identity.
I tend to gravitate somewhere between being “passive” and being “chill” on any given day.
I also spend a lot of time wishing other people in my life would chill the fuck out. I love people for who they are, but damn, I KNOW being on level 100 at all times must get tiring.
Now, I’m not advocating for being passive, but I do think there’s something to being cool, calm, and collected.
Having chill vibes isn’t just a thing you do, it’s an outlook, a blueprint for the way you live your life. Not everyone chooses this path and that’s A-okay!
If you’re looking to find inner peace, challenge your usual forms of expression, and just overall have ~chill vibes~ then keep reading.
Be at peace with yourself
Before peace comes forgiveness
Acknowledge that you’ve tried your hardest and that sometimes you haven’t. THAT’S LIFE!! You deserve your forgiveness.
Shed the baggage
Let that hurt go, sis.
Whatever causes you to pop off, that thing deep inside that rears its ugly head in seemingly unrelated situations, address it and then move on. I can’t tell you how to do that, but the first step is making a commitment to yourself. You deserve the relief.
Fear, anger, guilt, bitterness, all weigh on your soul and contribute to the negative energy you feel within yourself.
Care about yourself
Self-care is key. Do things for you that are good for you.
Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self-care are essential to being healthy and to finding peace.
Stay hydrated, take breaks, practice self-compassion, meditate, just do what you need to do to make sure that YOU know that YOU care about YOU.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparison is a thief of joy.Teddy Roosevelt
We live in the age of digital comparison. Take a break from scrolling through the lives of others and looking at all the things you don’t have.
A lot of us don’t even know we’re doing it, but comparing ourselves to others is so bad. All it does is create self-doubt and jealousy, most of all it usually makes us feel like SHIT.
Focus on yourself, your happiness and your goals.
Be at peace with what’s yours and what’s coming.
Embrace yourself and alone time
Enjoy your own company. If you can’t stand being alone and spending time with yourself, then fix that.
You don’t need social validation to feel like your worth something.
Schedule some alone time every day, it will do wonders for the soul, I promise.
Learn how to express yourself
Learn how to identify your feelings and what triggers them
This my friends, is called emotional intelligence.
I don’t have it, so let me know when y’all figure this one out.
JK!!! Kinda. It’s something I’m working on. Fair warning: it’s hard.
Identifying your feelings takes time and introspection.
Introspection = examining your own conscious thoughts and feelings
Throughout the day, gauge your emotions and try to label them. Create your own labels for them if you want!
The key is to start doing this before you have a strong emotional response to something. This thing takes practice, okay.
In high stress situations, take a second to reflect on what it is exactly you are feeling, and what has triggered, or caused, these emotions.
Hopefully, once you identify your feelings and what triggers them, you can start working on how you respond to things.
Take time to express and decompress
Almost like a mama’s titty full of milk. I heard you have to express milk daily or else your titty might explode. Idk.
The point is, try to find an avenue of expression that you can turn into a joy and a habit so that you don’t get to the point of feeling overwhelmed.
Try things like journaling, creating, exercising, meditating, etc.
Expressing your emotions will also help with identifying them, fyi!!
Live your truth
Be honest with yourself and be honest with others.
The truth lies in both your intentions and your actions.
Be open minded
Leave the petty judgements behind. Live and let live. All dat.
Be open minded to people, experiences, and things.
Ignore and remove the drama
Self-explanatory, really. I know drama is unavoidable sometimes, but do your best to let the unnecessary and excessive drama go right on by you.
Drama can ruin your mood, relationships, career, etc. It’s never worth it.
Be your own bestie
A. Less people, less drama, less things you have to worry about, and the more chill you can be.
Focus on what’s right in front of you
Live in the moment, yada yada yada.
Someone who is constantly worrying about the past or the future is definitely not chill.
Be present and be mindful.
Maintain your priorities
Focusing on what’s right in front of you does NOT mean forgetting about your responsibilities and/or rearranging your priorities at the drop of a hat.
Know what is important to YOU.
Having your shit together means you don’t have to worry bout NUTHIN.
Don’t worry about things that aren’t for you
This ties in to the lil tip about how we all need to stop comparing ourselves to others.
Trust that if you don’t have something right now, that you’re not meant to have it RIGHT NOW.
What’s yours will come. Especially if you go and get it.
Trust the process. Have faith that you’re on the right track.
And if you’re not on the right track, get on it. Tf you waiting for?
Come to terms with what you CAN control and what you CAN’T
Stop wasting your precious time and energy worrying about things or focusing on things that you do not have the power to change.
Focus on the things that you DO have control over.
Don’t get too attached
Don’t get attached to plans, material things, and people you can’t rely on (that last part is key).
People who get upset when dinner plans change? No chill.
Your favorite boy band member cut his hair and you’re HURT? No chill.
Leaving hate comments under Tristan Thompson’s IG posts? Justified, but still, no chill.
You get what I’m saying here?
Now, OBVIOUSLY, these things are waaaaaaaay easier said than done and it’d be pretty damn hard to constantly live like this. BUT, we should all have certain behaviors and mindsets that we strive to live up, right?