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Anal sex. The mythical, considerably iconic, and often controversial sex act of penetrating the anus.
There are a trillion and one guides to anal sex on the internet, most are pretty helpful, some are straight trash. That’s where I’m here to help.
This guide is a mixture of personal experiences and ~internet research~. This isn’t going to be a step-by-step guide to anal, but hopefully I can offer six tidbits regarding anal sex that you may or may not already know.
My advice: read all the guides you can and learn from each one. Most guides, including this one, have information that overlap. There’s only so much that goes into anal sex. 🤷🏽♀️
And no, porn does NOT count as a good tutorial for anal sex.
PSA: Anal sex is still sex. Sex encompasses a wide variety of acts and means different things to different people. I’m sure we all knew someone in high school who swore they were still a “virgin” even though they were engaging in anal sex every chance they got. I’m all for letting people create their own definitions of what “sex” is, but like… come on. For the purposes of not only this website, but for the safety of our physical and mental health, let’s all put in an effort to be sexually progressive human beings and consider sexual activity in a broader light.
Another PSA: virginity isn’t real, but we’ll unpack that some other time.
Let’s begin… Or not.
Engaging in any type of anal play is YOUR choice. Anal play should only be incorporated into sex when all parties involved have given their CONSENT!!!!!
Let me say it again: CONSENT!!!!
Get it and give it before engaging in any type of sexual activity. Every single time.
So, what is anal sex REALLY like?
There’s a possibility it will hurt
For some people, it doesn’t hurt at all, ever. For others, it hurts the first few times. And for other others, it hurts every time.
There’s a possibility it will be super pleasurable
It goes both ways. Some people receive immense pleasure from it, others don’t.
There might be some poop
We’re talking butt stuff, so of course there’s a chance things can get messy. If you and/or your partner aren’t mature enough to handle a little poop, then you’re not mature enough for anal sex.
It’s all in the preparation.
Unless you’re some anal sex Super Saiyan, you’re gonna need to prepare yourself and your partner(s) literally every time you go for the anus.
Preparation is the key to an enjoyable experience.
Six Hoe Tips for Anal Sex
1. Familiarize yourself
Start with introducing fingers, rim jobs, butt plugs, and other sex toys/objects to your sexual repertoire looooong before you actually attempt to have anal sex. Trying to shove a penis or penis like object into an asshole is quite possibly the worst way to introduce yourself to anal play.
2. Consider using a condom
Even if both you and your partner are both fully tested and totally clean, using a condom is a good way to safe guard against any, eh, mess and can make transitioning from anal to vaginal much easier and safer.
Use condoms on not only penises, but toys, fingers, etc.
3. LUBE. IT. UP.
There’s no such thing as too much lube when it comes to your asshole.
Your booty hole does not produce lubrication the way a vagina does, so you NEED to make sure it’s nice and slippery before and during the act of penetration.
Use waaaaay more lube than you’ll think you’ll need. Trust me, lube can only make it better!
4. Avoid excessive alcohol and/or drug use before and/or during anal sex
You don’t want to be numb or unable to recognize that you’re going too fast or too hard.
You can literally die from tearing your asshole, so really don’t push it.
Shout out to Illana Wexler for bringing back traumatic childhood memories involving “Mr. Hands.”
Plus, both you and your partner want to remember and enjoy the experience!
By all means though, make sure you’re relaxed.
Breathing deeply will not only help you relax, but it will help you release tension from your body and your asshole, helping it release and open a little bit more.
5. Make sure you are fully aroused
My personal hoe tip for you is to orgasm before you engage in anal play!
Orgasm (if you can) from oral, your vibrator, or whatever it is you need to make sure that you’re fully aroused and ready to go. If P-in-V sex is your thing, starting with that is also a great type of foreplay.
JUST REMEMBER: do not put anything that was in your butt into your vagina without changing condoms or a thorough cleaning. For health and hygiene reasons, obvi.
Arousal is just as important to vaginal sex as it is to anal so DON’T SKIP FOREPLAY. 🗣
Being able to communicate clearly and honestly with your partner and vice versa is a MAJOR KEY to ensuring that anal sex is an enjoyable experience.
Having a safe word isn’t a terrible idea either.
Anal sex is different for everybody. It can be fun or it can be not so fun. If you decide to try it out and see how you like, just make sure you’re doing it for YOU (and not just your partner) and that you know what you’re getting yourself into.
With the right tools and information, anal sex doesn’t have to be scary. Being in control of your body and your pleasure starts with knowledge!