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Hoeing is an art and it is not always easy. Which is why I’ve put together a little series of post to help answer any questions, provide some “how-tos” for everything revolving around having a vagina and being your best hoe.
Disclaimer: here at H&B, being a Hoe has nothing to do with the amount bodies you have or how many people you “talk” to. Being a Hoe is all about embracing your sexuality and using it your advantage.
What to Do After Sex
This particular installment of Hoe Tips is about AFTER SEX CARE. It’s about caring for yourself after any type of sexual activity centering around your vagina. These care steps can be used after dick, after a toy, after some tongue action, after a finger (or three), after whatever has been in or around your vagina in a sexual capacity.
Correctly cleaning and caring for you vag after sexual activity is SO important to both your physical AND mental/emotional health. I promise you, a healthy vag means a healthy life. Physically, the steps you take after sex can prevent all types of painful infections, discomfort, and even pregnancy (if needed). Mentally and emotionally, self-care like what I’ve laid out below can help bring clarity and peace of mind after a sexual experience whether it was positive, negative, or just plain confusing.
Now, onto what you can do to help keep your vag happy and healthy after sexual activity!
TW: Sexual Assault
If you are a victim of sexual assault or are unsure please consider calling the National Sexual Assault Hotline @ 800.656.HOPE (4673). They will offer you confidential support and resources that may be able to help you. You do not have to go through this alone.
If you don’t feel comfortable, but are looking for someone to talk to who will be judgement free and is willing to listen as you figure out what exactly has happened to you I will always be here for you @ firstname.lastname@example.org or you can contact me at the bottom of the page.
Although there is nothing the average individual can do at home after being exposed to a sexually transmitted disease or infection, BUT what you can do is go to your nearest emergency room, health clinic, or planned parenthood.
Hospital settings have access to post exposure phophylasxis aka PEP which is an antiretroviral medicine used to help those exposed to certain STDs and/or infections if taken WITHIN 72 HOURS OF THE TIME YOU WERE POTENTIALLY EXPOSED. You cannot get this without a prescription from a healthcare provider. If you’re worried about cost, insurance, privacy I would personally suggest going to your nearest planned parenthood.
If you have had unprotected sex and are worried about pregnancy hit up your nearest pharmacy if you can afford it out of pocket (around $50) or your nearest Planned Parenthood for low cost/free options for Plan B and follow the directions on the back. This too has to be taken WITHIN 3 DAYS OF UNPROTECTED INTERCOURSE.
You can also order Plan B online!!
I know shit happens, but PLEASE be more careful next time.
If you need specific resources, information, advice on anything either leave a comment or contact me using my contact page.
Moving on from emergency situations, let’s talk about what you need to do after yo’ pussy has been played with.
First and foremost: get yo ass to the bathroom.
Immediately after sex you need to pee. Immediately. No lounging around, no cuddling, no sleeping, no talking, nothing but P E E I N G. Peeing right after sex helps dislodge any bodily fluids (yours or your partners) and is your number one line of defense against infections (specifically urinary tract infections). Peeing flushes all the bacteria accumulated from whatever activity you were into from your urethra. If you’re dealing with semen, my fave method of getting it out of my vagina is first to pee and then to cough while pushing out over the toilet and then to get the rest out by twerking (yes twerking) my booty over the toilet. Majority, if not all, of it should be out of you and then you just flush those kiddos down the toilet.
You should also invest in some natural, unscented baby wipes to wipe yourself with after you pee. Wipe your vulva, booty, and inner thighs with the baby wipes to also prevent bacteria and foreign fluids from making itself at home in your vagina (sperm can survive anywhere from three to six days which means conception can occur up to six days after you have sex WHICH MEANS you need to do a thorough job of getting it out and cleaning it up).
Don’t try to wipe internally (as in shoving the wipes up your vagina), your pussy is self cleaning and does an A1 job all on it’s own. Natural wipes are best because you don’t want to expose your vag to any chemicals that could potentially mess up your pH balance (one time I was out of my go to wipes and used baby wipes with tea tree oil and within three days I had a full blown yeast infection 😕 ). If you don’t have any wipes just do your best with using a wet, lukewarm wash cloth or just splash yourself with water and using your hands (I do the latter way more than a grown Hoe should).
Any type of sexual activity, whether it be penetration (with a penis, toy, or finger) or outer play (like oral sex, clit rubbing, grinding, etc.), leads to the transfer of bacteria so going to the bathroom is SO important regardless of what you were doing.
Moral of the story: go pee after any type of sexual activity and take the time to clean yourself afterwards. Your vagina will thank you, I promise.
Air that bitch out.
Do your best to dry your vulva and labia (aka your outer pussy). Bacteria thrives in warm, wet places so once again this tip is to help prevent infections.
Unless you’re leaving immediately (no judgement), absolutely no clothes from the waist down. Not only do you want your vulva to be dry, but allowing your pussy to breathe and be exposed to oxygen will help its overall health. If you do need to put something on, opt for cotton panties or loose fitting shorts.
HYDRATE!!!!! Being dehydrated means your pussy is dehydrated. Dehydration can contribute to vaginal dryness and you’ll feel ten times better overall if you’re adequately hydrated.
Hoe tip: mix 1 cup of water with 1-2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar to help stabilize your vagina’s pH balance.
If you’re sore…
If you’re sore after sex (usually from rough intercourse or lack of lubrication), get yourself a lukewarm washcloth and just hold it and baby your vulva with it. DO NOT USE HOT WATER as it will only make it worse. If you have the time and/or energy run yourself a warm bath and add coconut oil to help soothe and smooth your pussy. Once again, lukewarm water is key.
If you’re feeling rough down there, you might have little tears in your actual vagina. Steer clear of putting anything up there as you heal because you are way more prone to infection with these little tears. If you can see a health care provider.
Ho-essential: to prevent this from happening again either increase the amount of time spent on foreplay to increase arousal, use some lube, or BOTH… do both tbh.
Take care of yourself emotionally and mentally after any type of sexual experience. Take time to reflect and learn from your experience, whether it was good or bad (or anywhere in between). Just don’t beat yourself up too much (or at all really) if you feel that you made a “mistake.” What’s done is done and all you can do is grow from your experiences.
These tips all come from a place of wanting to help others avoid the mistakes that I made… Trust me, I’ve suffered through enough yeast infections for all of us. All of the information in this post is backed by ~science~ and my own personal experiences.
If you need any info about birth control or STDs be sure to check out some of my other posts!